With little warning the boa constrictor being used during a rehearsal for Nicki’s MTV awards performance slithered over and bit her right on the butt. Early reports stated that it had happened to  one of her back-up dancers to prevent mass panic. There was a whoosh as though a dam was bursting as an unidentified jelly like filling poured out leaving her half-assed as everyone tried not to fall down on what became a terribly slippery stage. Nicki is said to be resting uncomfortably on her left side at NYC Cosmetic Surgery Institute as she awaits a butt donor. She has been moved to the top of the list and hopefully she will be good as new for tomorrow’s MTV awards show, assuming the hazmat team gets the stage cleaned in time. All considered, it was lucky that it was a snake instead of the elephant that she planned to use when performing another number “Pachydermia Love” from her forthcoming CD  “Minajerie” FTM wishes Nicki a speedy and full figured recovery.