Ben Affleck Banned From Church Bazaar For Counting Jelly Beans

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First it was The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas that banned Ben from playing at their tables and now, his own St. Cecilia Parish in Boston has turned on him. “He’s out of control,” exclaimed Sister Bridget Angelina. “The church bazaar is a fun family event and he has made it a nightmare! He was at the “jelly bean jar” table with measuring implements, a calculator, a probability chart and a digital camera while jumping around the table to view from every angle. The muttering and facial tics he exhibited were insane! Innocent children were running away crying for their parents to save them from the “scary counting man.” He even shoved old Father Brendan to the floor when he suggested he go have a danish and let someone else take a guess.” Church officials confirm he has been banned from all future activities and events until he seeks help.

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