Since today’s muscle cars are made with much lighter modern materials such as carbon fiber, the sound of a four-cylinder engine, no matter how turbo-charged it may be, just doesn’t roar like the more traditional gas gulping muscle car engine. But now with Ford’s Active Noise Control system, the Mustang’s engine noise is amplified and piped through the internal speakers, giving drivers the sound of a true muscle car. You’ll have to scream to your passengers to be heard, just like old times!

And if that isn’t enough, special air jets fill the car with invisible wafts of testosterone giving you that teenage feelin’ all over! Hair will start sprouting on balding pates and flabby flesh just magically regains its youthful tautness. You’ll have urges that have been dormant for years! You’ll be out cruising past 10PM again, reliving American Graffiti. All the high school babes who rejected you are suddenly lining up at the reunion for a trip on your rocket ship. Score: Mustang 1 Middle Age 0. Thank You Ford!

(Options include, “You’re the biggest, You’re the Best” ego re-enforcement audio tracks)