A simple solution to the inevitable worldwide spread of the Ebola Virus has been announced in a joint statement from President Obama in conjunction with The World Health Organization and The Center for Disease Control. The President stated it briefly yet in an irritated tone, “Stop where you are and stay there! Stop moving around from place to place. Stop getting on planes and traveling to and from the hotbeds of the illness. In other words, stay the hell where you are!” We’ve got health care workers bringing it back, freelance reporters dragging it home. Now we have people flying to see these people and then flying around the United States with it. What are you people, idiots? Please we are beggin ya. just Stop!”