“There’s still inequity out there,” railed newly re-elected, Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell. “There’s still too many people in this country owning homes, going to college, driving cars, having phones, going to bed on a full stomach and Now, he thundered Having access to affordable health care! This is not my America! We have done what we could to move this nation forward, but we have been held back by the whiny, frightened little Democrats who think, “oh boo hoo hoo” everyone should get a fair share. Well I say, This Is America! If you have the chance for a big slice of cake, why not just swipe the whole cake? That is my America, people and I want to see that dream in my lifetime. They call you the 1 percent like that’s an insult. Hah! Hell, I say that number ain’t exclusive enough! I promise you that within 2 years I will have that number down, so that .5% have all the money! We’ll start by crushing that health care baloney. Screw ‘em. The EPA? Screw ‘em, who needs it? Just leave them their guns and flags. And we’ll get that pipeline going so oil and money starts flowing in the right direction even faster. Lookout Obama! Your obstructionist days are over!” he roared, and then stopped to wipe a bit of spittle off his lips and check his tie in his bedroom mirror.