Forget Southfork Ranch. Ted Cruz Proposes New Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Spread As The Official Texas Spread!

CruzReeses

“Have you tasted this stuff? OMG it is just plain deliciousness on a spoon!” said Texas junior senator Ted Cruz, after passing out samples of the new peanut butter chocolate spread from Reeses, to the press. He had just finished making his presentation to the State Assembly, nominating it to be the official state chocolate spread. “We have got to claim this for Texas,” he pleaded. His insistence on quick action, sources assume, is that in advance of announcing his intention to seek the Presidency, he is attempting to show his decisiveness and efficacy in getting his agenda moving through the political process to swift completion. Texas has a long history of state symbols including, the state mammal (flying)-the Mexican free tailed bat, the state cooking implement-the Dutch Oven, the state molecule-the buckyball, and the state instrument-the guitar, among many, many more. In addition to the peanut butter spread, Mr. Cruz has also proposed the following be added to the ever growing list of Texas state symbols.

State Cereal- Count Chocula

State Candy bar- Butterfinger

State Doll- Barbie

State Board game- Monopoly

State Shoe- Steel-toed boot

State Fruit- Strawberry fruit roll-up

State TV show  Dallas

State Hairdo- Bouffant

State Pie- Pecan

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