Local Bars and Restaurants in this beautiful little town in Minnesota thought they might attract more customers to their establishments if they dubbed Thursday “Girls Night Out” and offered special inducements to the females to attend. This they reasoned would bring out the males with their big eating and drinking appetites.

Unfortunately, although over 127 local men took the bait, not one woman made it into the downtown area. That is, until a local farmer inadvertently dropped off six of his finest gals, who felt they deserved a night on the town. The small herd of black and white Holsteins certainly looked out of place as they sauntered down the main drag in this quaint town tucked in along the Mississippi River.

A few of the men tried to strike up conversations, but it turns out these heifers were a bit standoffish. One man who wished to remain anonymous complained, “They seemed sorta stuck up for cows. I mean really, THEY WERE COWS!” Another opined, “I kinda liked ‘em. Ya know it’s All About That Bass!” he said with a chuckle. But these cows were content to stick together and do a little window shopping.

As a crowd of very lonely men surrounded the bovine beauties, the Police were called and Chief Roger Pohlman said it took three officers to corral the cattle into a nearby parking enclosure. Shortly thereafter, they got a called from the cattle owner who noticed his trailer gate was down, when he returned to his farm in Hager City, Wisconsin. He noticed the ad for Ladies Night on the floor of his trailer, and figured they had made a break for freedom as he drove through Red Wing. He soon arrived to pick up his wayward damsels and Main Street once again became a desolate lonely stretch.

The Red Wing Business Association will continue to research other ways to improve nightlife in the downtown district.