Poor Hillary Clinton cannot catch a break when it comes to avoiding scandal. After responding to criticisms of her email habits and choice of breath mints, she now faces another roadblock on her way to the Presidency. Republicans and the Media will not let up on the big issues! Rumors have circulated for some time that a picture existed, showing Hillary using a rotary wall phone, in what appears to be her kitchen. Now that photo has been unearthed by TMZ and gone viral, appalling her detractors and shocking even her constituents who are tiring of all the baggage that comes with Mrs. Clinton.

Senator Rand Paul has called for answers. “I want to know how she explains this one,” he shouted almost apoplectically to the press. “She is not going to give some lame excuse this time. I am just exhausted from the slick lies about yet another, lapse of judgment on her watch. What’s next? Are we going to find out she is using dial up service for the Internet? My God!”

Many senators expressed concern, that in addition to Hillary admitting the use of a rotary phone, they need to see phone records proving it was not a party line, leaving national secrets open for any number of gossips to eavesdrop on. “So many poor decisions on her part make it obvious she is not up to the rigors of the highest office in the country,” lamented Marc Rubio. “The more we look into her background the more troubling things we learn. My aides are looking into a report that she attempted to use an expired coupon on double coupon day at an upstate Wegman’s. This woman simply has no moral center!”

Mrs. Clinton has scheduled a news conference later today to address this latest issue so she can try to get ahead of yet another, devastating, possible career-ending faux pas.