Category Archives: International

Marco Rubio Reacts To New US-Cuba Policy. “No No No No No No No! I’m Gonna Hold My Breath Til I Esplode”

Posted on December 18, 2014 by jr

“President Barack Obama will get no money for his Cuba policy, no ambassador will be confirmed and the embargo will never be lifted,” Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) yelled in a blistering press conference on Wednesday just before letting out a … Continue reading →

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Rand Paul Introduces Bill To Remove President Obama From All History Books And Reference Materials!

Posted on December 15, 2014 by jr

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul believes he has come up with a surefire plan to get rid of Barack Obama once and for all! With his eyes aglow, Paul explained, “First, Ah thought, let’s repeal his Immahgrayshun order and then Obamacar, … Continue reading →

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Angelina Jolie Releases New Documentary Film “A Pox On Me” Just In Time For Academy Award Consideration!

Posted on December 13, 2014 by jr

A relatively new strain of the age-old childhood trauma, Chicken Pox, has been quietly spreading around the world. It’s been dubbed “Glamapox,” in deference to its first apparent victim, international superstar, Angelina Jolie. Although it is nowhere near as deadly … Continue reading →

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Hallucinogenic Mushrooms Found Growing Wild On The Grounds Of Buckingham Palace. “Curiouser And Curiouser,” says The Queen!

Posted on December 13, 2014 by jr

Filmmakers stumbled across the red and white speckled fly agaric fungus, as they shot footage in the 16-hectare private estate, for a documentary entitled The Queen’s Garden, to be screened by broadcaster ITV on Christmas Day. Fly agaric is well … Continue reading →

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Sony Hackers Now Leak The Secret File Of CIA Euphemisms! Aggrandized Security!

Posted on December 12, 2014 by jr

– Hot on the heels of the major hacking of the Sony emails, the group who calls itself Guardians of the Peace, is now going after the clandestine codes of the CIA. They leaked a secret document called “This is … Continue reading →

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Dick Cheney Surfaces To Express His Feelings About Torture

Posted on December 12, 2014 by jr

“Oh Boo Hoo Hoo,” said Cheney

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Hollywood Hacked! Files Show Sony Considering Pee Wee, Spiderman Crossover Film. Yay!

Posted on December 10, 2014 by jr

The bright spot in this scandal is learning that Sony is considering a Pee Wee Herman meets Spiderman movie. How fun is that? But on a more serious note, hackers with a vendetta against Sony pictures, have recently been hacking … Continue reading →

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Bey And Jay And Will And Kate. A Royal Day On The Town!

Posted on December 9, 2014 by jr

Oh My God, that looks amazing on you!” squealed Beyonce to Kate in the dressing room at Marshall’s. “Damn you probably never even need photoshop or a wind machine to look good.” The two went clothes shopping with their husbands … Continue reading →

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Fastest Product Endorsement Ever! For Presidential Size Acid Reflux!

Posted on December 8, 2014 by jr

An anonymous source laughed, “Boy he’s gonna need it!”

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President Pleased With Tree Lighting Ceremony. Awaits Review From Elizabeth Lauten!

Posted on December 6, 2014 by jr

As he waited anxiously to hear the all-important review, rocking back and forth on his toes, President Obama mentioned to reporters, somewhat nervously, “I just hope Elizabeth knows we did our best with this one! The girls have been practicing … Continue reading →

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