filethatmary

The Internet Fundraising site “gofundme” has crashed after literally thousands of businesses and individual people attempted to set up pages at the same time claiming hardship for standing up for their religious beliefs in Indiana. After the word spread that Memories Pizza had already raised over “half a million dollars” from discriminating supporters it seemed like everybody wanted in on this “Pot of Gold”

Many businesses, all began announcing to anybody who would listen that they would never participate in a Same-Sex Wedding.

Lou’s Plumbing insisted they will not work on any restrooms or install any fountains that will be part of any same sex marriage reception.

“Gay Blades” a landscaping company has promised never to care for any lawns intended to be used for outside same sex nuptials. (They insisted that “Gay” was the old fashioned meaning)

Lou Ann’s Bedazzled Bodacious Nail Salon refuses to perform any manicures or pedicures that will be flaunted at a gay wedding.

Bert’s Balloon Factory- Confirms they have a strict no service policy for same-sex weddings and will provide no entertaining clowns for balloon animals at any same-sex wedding reception.

Harold’s Hardware cannot in good conscious provide any tools that are intended to be gifts at a lesbian wedding

Wally’s Footlongs- will not be supplying any of their delicious wieners to any same -sex Wedding, Bar Mitzvah, Picnic, School Field Trip, or Gay Olympics. They plan on adding more events that they will not cater very soon.

Beautiful Mammaries Exotic Dancers– announced they would entertain at no lesbian bachelor parties

Angus Knickaschloggan– currently unemployed and actually has never held a job, but in the future is totally willing to not take a job that would ever put him in the position of working on a same-sex wedding

We will keep you informed of all refusniks as they make themselves known.

The Management of gofundme (who promise that they too will never fund a same-sex marriage) promise to have their site back up as soon as possible. However, as this will take a number of very straight techies and many hours of overtime, they have started their own funding page and would appreciate as much money sent to their offices as possible, preferably in increments of $100 and they thank the Lord in advance for your bigotry…….um…generosity!