ABC Renames DWTS For The “Stars” We Actually Know

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After an exhaustive survey analyzing the “Q” or “Recognition Factor” of the “Stars” on Dancing With The Stars, producers have discovered that the professional dancers are the real stars! When their pictures were shown to the survey sample, 82 percent were recognized by name. That recognition factor shot up to 97% when the males removed their shirts and females were clad in bra, panties and colorful gauze. The previous seasons “Stars” overall, had a familiarity rating of 22%, even when all were combined. As the program gears up for it’s 19th season the producers have decided to cast 14 random Americans and these will be considered the guest competitors. As usual their biographies will be exaggerated and enhanced so they appear to have accomplished something. Premieres September 15th.

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