Barack Obama on the Stairgate Scandal, “It’s Gonna Be A Long Two Years.”


“You know, I guess, in retrospect we should have been more suspect when we got the call,” said Jeremy Storm, the officer in charge of presidential stair scheduling at Andrews Air Force Base, “but the girl’s voice sounded very sincere, and she identified herself as Sasha, so it all seemed legitimate when she told us that the First Family was staying an extra day in Hawaii on vacation. She said her dad asked her to call, as he was busy playing golf. We rescheduled the stairs for Air Force One for the next day, and locked them up in the warehouse. When we got the alert that Air Force One was about to land at it’s originally scheduled time, I gotta admit I almost wet myself. It took about a half hour to get the stairs over there, and let me tell you the President looked none too pleased when I saw him looking down from the open door of the plane. He seemed especially irritated, when a crowd of people led by John Boehner starting chanting, ‘2 more years…2 more years’ and laughing like it was some fraternity prank.”

Secret Service is looking into phone records to see where the cancellation call originated, but it appears to have been a burner phone. Stay tuned.

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