New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and his supporters have formed a political action committee, according to a source charged with the job of leaking the information.
The PAC, called “Lanes for America,” is yet one more sign that Christie, 252 pounds, is planning on seeking the GOP nomination for president in 2016, but he is taking it very, very slowly. “We don’t want to rush him,” said one confidential source. “We don’t want him to jump in and just become a huge embarrassment to himself and the state of New Jersey. To avoid that, we have undertaken new methods of political fact finding. Most PAC’s use surveys and polls to gain information, but what we use, actually gives us more in depth data. We are utilizing the resources of, what is jocularly referred to as the laugh meter. It’s similar to what the networks use when previewing TV pilots. On a scale that ranges from titters and tee hees, all the way to outright guffaws and side splitting hysterical laughs, we measure the reactions to proposed Christie press releases and braggadocio. With these measurements each day we can take a thoughtful, planned approach, toward maybe, possibly, taking another step. That’s the Christie way.
With the PAC formation, Christie said “there are many people who want to be supportive of me continuing to look at the problems in the country. I am really good at looking at problems. That’s what I believe America needs, problem looking into, and Lord knows we got em! Problems like bridge traffic for instance. We have one of the greatest bridges right here in New Jersey and I know that I have the inside experience to help other great states with their bridges, and the pesky traffic patterns leading to them. I believe our experiments on the local and state level of bridge traffic snafus, are something this country can use. And my success with Atlantic City, well that speaks for itself! We are checking into what else I got before we get carried away”
According to a poll released last Thursday, nearly three in five registered voters in New Jersey do not think Christie would make a good U.S. president. Most believe he is a clumsy, overbearing bully, with no tact.
“Oh boo hoo, little know-nothing, snot nose babies,” said Chris thoughtfully.