Public officials in Arkansas are now on the lookout for an interstate felon, assaulting the sensibilities of God-fearing people throughout much of the South and Midwest parts of the nation. Not since Bonnie and Clyde has there been such an uproar of fear and general outrage! First popping up in Oregon and last spotted in Indiana, this tasty confection was reportedly seen hitching a ride with an Entenmann’s truck on the outskirts of Indianapolis, appearing to be heading toward Arkansas, where the State Senate has already alerted the public to the danger and today, Governor Asa Hutchinson is expected to raise the warning code to “Holy Crap Lookout It’s A Soul Killing Cake!”
“Do not be deceived by it’s delectable frosting,” declared Indiana Governor Mike Pence, who appeared relieved that he had signed a bill protecting his state from this imminent horror in the nick of time. “You think you are going to devour this delicious buttercreamed delight but in actuality it devours you and your family and every devout belief and thought you possess! We are really talking Devils Food baby!”
As the cake obviously has crossed state lines, one would expect the Federal Government to get involved, but as these states have already accused them of overstepping, the FBI is hesitant to get involved in protecting these nutjobs. *
*Editors Note. The last comment was purely Mary’s own editorial opinion.