Finding no actual crime to pin on Hillary Clinton, after millions of dollars and hours spent, smearing her with an imaginary Benghazi Scandal, the GOP has decided to look into other accusations involving things with the prefix “Ben”. One senator bragged, “We did fairly well smearing Hillary with Benghazi, so why not stick with what we know works? People already are familiar with the “Ben” part so it will be easier for them to remember and it really is a good brand extension of the very successful campaign.” (Think Watergate and all the subsequent “Gate” scandals.)
Republican tacticians are already hard at work linking the smell of Ben Gay to Clinton and expect to blame her for many of the aches and pains it is used for. “We kinda get a double bang on that one, cause of the Gay part,” tittered one source.
Lining up behind that, the media can look forward to additional rumor, innuendo and generally baseless allegations to print, as insiders plan to find Hillary culpable for Ben Affleck’s movie bomb Gigli, the influx of immigrants working at stateside Benihana Restaurants, and possible family connections to the late Italian dictator Benito Mussolini. (Thereby placing an amount of WWII blame on her, simply through genetics)
GOP muckrakers were fairly giddy at the prospect of moving onto fresh pseudo-scandals, as many had admittedly felt Benghazi was rather tired. “Ben there! Done that!” laughed one gleeful Congressman.