Media Ranks GOP Debate Winners Alphabetically. Jeb Bush Wins!

Best Alphabet

As nobody could agree on exactly what the criteria should be in judging the winners and losers of the GOP debate last evening, a media panel has suggested they be rated alphabetically, which makes Jeb Bush the automatic winner.

One source said, “Nobody actually says anything of substance at these things so it’s as good a criteria to judge on as any.”  Another said off the record, “We were sitting around trying to figure out who did the best and who got off the best lines when we realized that none of us really gave a shit.”

The panel plans to rank the next debate by weight.

The results from last night are, in order:

#1. Jeb Bush

#2 Ben Carson

#3 Chris Christie

#4 Ted Cruz

#5 Carly Fiorina

#6 Mike Huckabee

#7 John Kasich

#8 Rand Paul

#9 Marco Rubio

#10 Donald Trump

This entry was posted in Politics, Scoop, Whores and Horrors and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s