Be the envy of everybody in your trailer park. Order now, the latest in crack couture from Ivanka Trump’s line of fine jewelry and accessories. Available in both pussy and pussy grabbers sizes. Made from pure gold!* Order yours today. Makes a great Christmas present or stocking stuffer. Only $19.99 or purchase 2 for the bargain price of only $40. We have plenty but, like Donald you better grab it now!

*The liberal media says it’s actually fools gold, but you know they’re lyin’ just like Ted.