“We were hoping for the cream of the crop of the music world and so, we are very pleased to have obtained the services of American Idol Superstar, William Hung,” Trump spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway announced breathlessly, earlier this afternoon. “OMG! You can’t help but sing along to She Bangs!” unable to mask her exuberance. “With so many talented superstars offering their services to perform at the Inaugural festivities, our biggest problem has been, how to narrow down the field to the best of the best! Believe me, when you have the magnitude of talents like Ted Nugent ready to play all of his hit from the 70’s and Scott Baio doing something really, really great, our biggest problem has been finding Trump venues for them all. But this “get” has just taken our collective breath away!” This, America, is what a Headliner looks like and Donald Trump says, You’re Welcome!“
“Of course, everybody is being put up in the luxurious accommodations of the newest Trump hotel in DC so we can keep all the money right here in the family and at a savings to the government. THAT my friends is how you make America Great Again with The Fuhr….I mean Donald Trump!” she bragged. “We will have more names later, but we just could not keep this one a secret. We are all on a William Hung high!”
Details of Hung’s performance will be announced, as soon as they release him from the internment camp and a full vetting and confirmation of his U.S. citizenship are completed.