Category Archives: Scoop

For Thanksgiving Bette Midler Performs A Special Version Of Her Classic… “The Wind Beneath My Turkey Wings!”

Posted on November 27, 2014 by jr

Did you ever know that you’re my dinner You’re everything I wish I could eat I love you more with all your stuffing You are the wind beneath my turkey wings. Fly Fly So high against the sky Thank You Thank … Continue reading →

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Holiday Tom Turkey Character Actor Fired At Mall. “He Was Really Depressing Everybody!”

Posted on November 26, 2014 by jr

“He was really supposed to get everyone excited about Thanksgiving and gear everybody up for Black Friday Shopping,” said Mall representative Maria Dysoto, “but he really just left everyone rather depressed and made a lot of children cry.” Tom Turkey … Continue reading →

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Allstate Insurance Announces “Black Friday” Coverage For The War Torn And Weary Shopper!

Posted on November 26, 2014 by jr

“People should be able to shop fearlessly on the first day of the Christmas Season,” says Allstate rep, Carol Ingon. “They shouldn’t have to worry about getting a black eye, or a broken arm, or even a concussion, fighting with other shoppers … Continue reading →

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Will This Donut Look Good On Me? Get The New Fat-App And See Immediately!!!

Posted on November 25, 2014 by jr

The FDA will soon require chain restaurants and movie theaters to list the amount of calories contained in each item on the menu, in hopes that knowing the calorie count in that mashed potato, cheese and gravy will deter Americans … Continue reading →

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Lindsey Graham Nominates Arnold Schwarzenegger To Replace Chuck Hagel As Secretary Of Defense!

Posted on November 25, 2014 by jr

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has put forth the name of his dream candidate for Secretary of Defense, to replace Chuck Hagel and that name is Arnold Schwarzenegger! At a hastily called press conference this morning Graham was fairly rapturous in … Continue reading →

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Finally A Product Endorsement We Can All Get Behind!!

Posted on November 24, 2014 by jr
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American Music Awards Name One Direction Artist Of The Year. Dedicate Award To Bobby Sherman, Davy Jones and David Cassidy!

Posted on November 24, 2014 by jr

“We wouldn’t be here tonight if it wasn’t for the groundbreaking work of artists who cleared the path for guys like us,” said One Direction’s Harry Styles, on receiving their coveted Artist of the Year Award. “Magazine Covers and cheering … Continue reading →

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J-Lo And Iggy Discuss Staging For “Booty” Performance On Sunday’s American Music Awards!

Posted on November 22, 2014 by jr

J-Lo- First off I am thinkin’ no nipple slips on this show. That got Janet in a mess of trouble. Iggy– Agreed. Okay Imma thinkin’ here’s how we start. J-Lo– Wait! Who enters first? I say smaller booty first, then wow ‘em … Continue reading →

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Boehner Says Obama’s Immigration Action Damages Presidency. Calls Him A “Big Poopyhead!”

Posted on November 22, 2014 by jr

John Boehner Calling them as he sees them!

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Jennifer Aniston Stars in “Cake” Sans Makeup, With A Facial Scar AND Weight Gain!. Oscar Nomination Committee Placed On Alert!

Posted on November 21, 2014 by jr

Putting it all out there for her art, will surely get ageless hottie Jennifer Aniston notice, when it comes to this year’s Oscar nominations. Talk in H-Town is already comparing this awesome transformation of natural beauty into a hideous visage, … Continue reading →

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