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Beaming with pride Fox News head honcho Roger Ailes met with reporters to discuss their latest unbelievable poll results.

Reporter: It is amazing Mr. Ailes, No poll has ever had 100% agreement. How do you think you got this, against all odds, phenomenal result?”

Ailes: Lots of hard work from a fantastic team of anchors, who would sell their souls to get the job done and some ‘very pretty gals’ , who really know their way around a poll.”

Reporter: “Congratulations Mr. Ailes on your poll. Can you tell us a bit about the criteria?”

Ailes: “Oh yes! For sure. There was plenty of criteria. Next question.”

Reporter: “Roger was this poll done based on strict statistical science?”

Ailes: “Who let The Daily Show guy in? Get Stewart outta here!! Next question”

Reporter: “Mr. Ailes. Was this poll conducted over the phone, online or in person interviews?”

Ailes: “Yes it was. Next.”

Reporter: Mr. Ailes. Now that you have succeeded in making Barack Obama the most despised President in history who do you hope to possibly libel, malign and destroy next?”

Ailes: “Not sure. It’s not like we have an agenda.”