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Senator Thom Tilllis (R-NC) made headlines yesterday when he suggested that there is too much government involved in everyday lives and business. He suggested restaurant employees shouldn’t be “required “ to wash their hands if they don’t feel like it. The only thing the stores have to do is opt out and post a notice letting patrons know that employees probably won’t be washing them.

Having felt his first flush (no pun intended) of opting out power, Senator Thom has decided to go National with his “Opting Out Freedom Plan.”According to Senator Thom, “This is America, and nobody should be forced to do anything they do not want to do.. That is true freedom! We do not need the government and the persnickety FDA telling us what to do. What are we, stupid? If you don’t want to do something, simply post a notice that you won’t be participating in that particular act of consideration or healthful behavior. Then everybody knows and they can make their own informed choice! Says Thom, “the opting outs options are limitless”…

Don’t want a health inspector in your restaurant?   Opt Out. Post a Notice!

Don’t want to take the driver’s test?   Opt Out. Post a Notice!

Don’t want to obey traffic signs?   Opt Out. Post a Notice!

Don’t want to obey gun laws? Opt out. Let everybody know you might be packing heat. Just Post a Notice!

Don’t want to pay at the stores? Opt out! Post a notice (see previous post)

Don’t want to respectfully wait your turn at the deli counter? Opt out ! Post a notice that you do not plan on being courteous to your fellow humans by waiting in some pissant line.

Don’t like not having a new car? Opt Out and steal one! Post a notice

The number of rules we could all opt out on, can run into the hundreds of thousands and we could list many many more but we do not feel like finishing this story so we are opting out. This is our notice!