filethatmary

J-Lo- First off I am thinkin’ no nipple slips on this show. That got Janet in a mess of trouble.

Iggy– Agreed. Okay Imma thinkin’ here’s how we start.

J-Lo– Wait! Who enters first? I say smaller booty first, then wow ‘em with the big magilla!

Iggy– So you wanna enna furst?

J-Lo– WTF? My cheek mountains are obviously bigger than yours and might I add, a bit more pendulous!

Iggy- WTF is this pendulous shit? My booty is twice the roundness, firmness and pillowness of yours. I’m sorry bitch. I know you are J-Lo and I respect all your talent and shit, but whoa. Let’s get real here. Your ass is plain mashed potato and mine is slathered in some silky-ass gravy making it shine like the sun and twice as tasty. Nobody doesn’t want my fat ass!

J-Lo– Are you effing with me? Have you ever cupped an ass over 40 years old that is az tight as mine? I felt your butt baby in the video and as long as we are being honest here, I’ve cupped 78 year old record execs with more muscle than your flabby behind. Jeesus! Take the stairs now and then you Fancy ass. WTF? SOMEBODY GET MY AGENT IN HERE! JERRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!

Iggy– Okay calm down. I hear ya. You don’t hafta go all ballistical shit on me. I unnastand where yo head is. I get it. It’s an age thing! Don’t worry baby. Damn you still look fine I gotta say. I hope, God as my witness, I look that good when I’m pushin’ 60!

J-Lo– That’s it. You one dead motherfucker!

Iggy–   I LOVE your Bracelet!

J-Lo– What?

Iggy– Imma sorry. I wuz outta line. I will be privileged to be on the stage with you. I don’t know what got into me. Of course you have the finer booty. So…..I enna furst, then you knock em in the aisles with that butt and that voice. You’re tracked right?

J-Lo– Well thank you. I’m glad you agree and I am sorry for the unpleasantness.

Iggy– No Prob. Okay now the next item. Who flashes their vagina furst?

J-Lo– Oh jeez! Jerrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy!