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South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has put forth the name of his dream candidate for Secretary of Defense, to replace Chuck Hagel and that name is Arnold Schwarzenegger! At a hastily called press conference this morning Graham was fairly rapturous in his praise of Arnold’s resume. “Not only was this man Governor of California, but I have watched this man fight insurgents all around this world, handling every imaginable weapon like it was a part of him, almost as if he were a one man killing machine! I have seen the body counts and the rebel forces he singlehandedly brought to their knees and I am not embarrassed to tell you I swooned just a little. This is the kind of man we need defending this country! This is the man we need keeping our borders safe, both here and in every other country we choose to invade….er I mean protect. For once, Mr. Obama, do the right thing and do it quickly!” Reporters informed Mr. Graham that they had checked into the history of derring-do by Mr. Schwarznegger and it turned out that it was all just his Hollywood adventure films. He was a movie star before he was Governor of California. Mr Graham blurted out, ‘that report is just garbage!”