filethatmary

In an exhausting search to fill the never-ending thirst for nudity and trivia, the David Letterman question “Is This Anything?” has been tossed into the professional reporting trash bag along with integrity, value, facts and punctuation. After 3 days of assisting a professional attention hound get attention, modern “news outlets” realized they were losing audience, as said hound, had no more body parts to grease and expose. Filling the gap quite nicely, is the fascination provided by alleged actor Robert Pattinson, most famous for the Twilight films. In an amazing demonstration of how to grab headlines while fully clothed, he got a haircut that in the past would have been reason enough never to return to that particular barber. The genius of the act is it’s simplicity! When asked how he came up with such a surefire publicity stunt Pattinson mumbled something about being drunk and falling asleep and his roommates thought it would be a funny prank to shave his head. “I wish I could take credit for the idea, he added, but honestly, even I never thought it would be the slightest bit interesting. I totally misjudged the public.”