Chris Hemsworth Named People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive! Adam Levine Refuses To Give Up Title!!

Chis Adam

Adam Levine, People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2013, reportedly has barricaded himself in his dressing room, at his TV Show, The Voice and refuses to turn over the winner sash to this years sexiest, Chris Hemsworth. According to sources, Adam appeared blindsided by the announcement this morning, that he was no longer the top fantasy man as far as People was concerned and shook uncontrollably before bursting into a puddle of tears sobbing, “I don’t understand, I don’t understand. I have to speak to the judges” He then bolted into his dressing room with the sash, which he has been wearing for the last 364 days. Representatives from People magazine have been in communication with former winners George Clooney, Brad Pitt ,Johnny Depp and others and asked them to reach out to Adam to explain the situation delicately, as his stability seems rather fragile. Updated reports have claimed that he has been fielding phone calls from friends and family, although most confess the conversations involve a lot of unintelligible sounds and wailing. All morning, we are told, his newly minted wife, supermodel Behati Prinsloo, has been speaking softly through the door attempting to soothe him and possibly gain entry but has had no luck so far. Negotiations are expected to continue throughout the day.

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“Oh I Just Remembered! He Assaulted Me 32 Years Ago Too.” That’s J-A-N-I-C-E D-I-C-K-I-N-S-O-N.

J-A-N-I-C-E

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 11_19_14

Mary’s Random Thought

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Gimme A Quote

BestDonnaReed

Gimme A Quote

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Walking With Tom

Walkingwithtom 11_18_14

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26 Year Old To Marry Charles Manson! Bride-To-Be Registers At Bed Bath And “ARE YOU BEYOND INSANE???”

Star

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 11_18_14

Mary’s Random Thoughts

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Gimme A Quote

Bestwhauden

Gimme A Quote

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“We’re Running Out Of Chocolate,” Says World’s Largest Producer. Sir Bob Geldorf Says “I’m On It!”

Best Chocolate

Fresh off the instant success of his new Ebola-ized version of Do they know it’s Christmas? recorded over the weekend, with current British and Irish pop superstars, Sir Bob is already faced with another challenge. A world shortage of chocolate! Having raised over $1 million to fight Ebola in Africa in the first 5 minutes of the song’s downloading availability, Bob is now considered the miracle man for rewriting a song for a cause. Although it took 30 years since it’s last incarnation Bob realizes this song is a charity goldmine and can be tailored for any crisis. Juergen Steinemann, CEO of Switzerland’s Barry Callebaut Group reached out to the knighted rock star, to beg him to help with what could be a worldwide crisis within a few years. “I understand the severity of the problem after speaking with Juergen,” explained Sir Bob “so I will be moving the chocolate problem up on my list of priorities. I just finished Do they know it’s healthcare? for President Obama’s ACA renewal program. Putin wants Do they know it’s Vladimir? to help win over the Ukraine and then there’s Do they know it’s hacking? to raise awareness of the stolen, nude photo problem. I just got off the phone with the top guy at Hershey so I truly understand this could be a worldwide nightmare. I just have to think of a title.”

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Ted Cruz Explains It All For You

ted explains

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