Amanda Bynes Crazy Train Fails to Captivate American Audience!

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Even people who admit to enjoying watching paint dry, have failed to be captivated by the saga of Amanda Bynes. The former Nickelodean star has attempted to follow the Lindsay Lohan playbook for child star turns bad girl, with arrests, sexy Maxim pictorials and bizarre behavior on both coasts, but to no avail. It seems America is not buying it and in fact, recent polls show that of the 17% who recognize her name 94% are bored by her behavior. “It’s just flat out crazy,” said one respondent, “there’s no ups and downs, no nuance. It’s like she’s doing this on her own without an agency to coordinate it properly.” Most Public Relations professionals agree that train wreck rubberneckers like to see their attention seekers, walk to the edge and then pull it back at the last second keeping the tension and interest building. Plus it really helps, (although not always necessary) if before you start this kind of campaign, you firmly establish who you were to begin with.

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Nick Jonas Will Not Be Upstaged! A New Red Carpet Trend?

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Exclusive! The Seven New Rules For Composing News Stories

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Turns out that the news sources that post stories on Google News Feed have a set of principles that all news writers must follow in order to be considered for the feed. “It is not enough anymore to simply just report,” said one Google news exec. “That’s lazy writing! We believe you must give the reader a feeling that he or she has had an experience, yet leaves them quizzical with a thirst to know even more. We know there are many sides to a story and if we can embellish, blur and heighten the impact of them, that is our mission. These seven precepts are guaranteed to make a reader feel they learned something important and yet are still not sure what that is or exactly how important it may be. They will continue to come back for updates and search the Internet to find the answers they seek. The more they search, the more information they receive, the more clicks we get. It’s a win-win-win!” Most contributors agree that these are very helpful guideposts for them, in addition to the new journalist’s golden rule. Never reread, rewrite, reword or rethink.

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's Random 10_15-14

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Gimme A Quote

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Tik Tok! Kesha’s Time Runs Out. Press Release Announces Impending Retirement!

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“You gotta know when to fold em,” said Kesha in a phone interview. “As I told my producer and best friend Dr. Luke, I have had a great run but now it’s time to let the next generation take the reins of party music. For 10 years I have had so much fun, that some days I was surprised I even woke up,” chuckled the 27 year old . “Having a hit record all around the world and performing was a joy but it always felt like it was happening to someone else. It is all a bit hazy. But I’d rather go out on top instead of being one of those What ever happened to…..stars. Ya know, I could have called a press conference and made a big publicity splash but I prefer the more dignified approach. It’s time for me to get a real job with real responsibilities. I hear that Walmart is hiring.”

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From The “Is This Real?” Department

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Carrie And The Gang Will Be Back! First Look At Sex And The City 3

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 10_14_14

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Gimme A Quote

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