This Date in Arizona State History October 17, 2014:
A Federal judge declared Arizona’s ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.
U.S. District Court Judge John Sedwick struck down the ban. He also refused to grant a stay of his opinion.
First Same-Sex Marriage License Issued by Superior Court Clerk.
Governor Jan Brewer’s head exploded.
President Obama reacting to increased pressure from Republican lawmakers and Carnival Cruise Lines has named Democratic Insider, Ron Klain as the new Ebola Czar. As John Boehner exclaimed, “It’s about time! What was the delay? This is obviously the exact situation that calls for the expertise of a Czar. He’s like a wizard! He’ll know what to do!” Obama, along with many critics, felt that opening another department would just bog down the government, with more competing agencies creating red tape and confusion, but he said somewhat wearily, “the perfect storm of political and Chicken Little media gobbledegook has already created such a miasma, we figured Ron can’t make it any worse.” Mr. Klain thanked the President for placing this disease in his hands, figuratively and promised to be a hands-on, again figuratively speaking, Czar. He simply asked the media to give him a brief honeymoon before pronouncing him an abject failure.
Beyonce has done it again! Not content with taking the already cliched “Selfie” portrait she has changed the game of selfie admiration and promotion. With the genius that only she possesses, somehow she managed to take a picture of herself, taking a picture of herself, taking a picture of herself! Like looking into a mirror image of a mirror image, the mind bends a little trying to comprehend what it is seeing. 3 Beyonces that in theory could go on into infinity. “It’s like the works of MC Escher,” giggled Bey, “are the steps going up or down? Which one of the Beyonces is the real Beyonce? Who is taking the selfie? The one on the right or the left? I think I blew my own mind!”
In an amazing cross promotion between Diet Coke, Taylor Swift and the ASPCA, it appears that now with every sip of Diet Coke, you get a free kitty! The number of kittens you get, seems to be only limited by the number of slugs you take of the fizzy elixir. It’s actually very simple. You take a sip…a cat appears just like that! No representative from Coca Cola could explain how this delivery system actually works or what the particular connection is between soda and cats, but all serious Swifters know how much Taylor loves the felines, so there’s that. If this sells a lot of Diet Coke, we expect Robin Thicke will soon attempt a career resurrection with Pepsi and Free Puppies!
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