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In a deliberate attempt to change the outcome of the Miss America pageant last night in Atlantic City, Governor Chris Christie personally placed misleading traffic signs on stage, in order to confuse the contestants and “put them off their game” thus allowing Miss New Jersey to step up and take the tiara! He had been hoping for New Jersey to be known as, the home of ‘Miss America’ and the next ‘Mr. President’. Much to Christie’s chagrin, all of the contestants, with the exception of Miss Arizona simply stepped around the signs and continued the stroll in their high heels and bathing suits.

When asked, how he thought voters would react to his subterfuge he just chuckled, “Nobody cares anymore how you get the job done just as long as you do it. Sheesh, isn’t anyone here from Fox News?” In spite of his nefarious efforts, for the third year in a row Miss New York then took the title, when Kira Kazantsev was crowned the new Miss America. Christie was last seen screaming at the judges. “This is nuts! How much is Cuomo paying you guys?”