filethatmary

“Anything for my bride!” says George Clooney, obviously, still very much in love with his wife after over 3 months of wedded bliss. “I saw her admiring Downtown Abbey on HGTV International House Hunters program and she seemed enthralled. The great news is that it comes with a staff, so there is a lot of fascinating back-story to get involved in. I think the world’s most fascinating person, deserves the most fascinating home, don’t you?” he queried. You know, I did think that was the Mill House on the island in the River Thames at Sonning Eye, when we purchased it in October, but she seems a bit bored with that already. I mean, she sewed up some nice drapes and curtains and pored through a rainbow of paint chips, but it’s just so hard to stay fascinated by anything, when you yourself are just so darn fascinating! Everything and everyone around you, starts to pale by comparison and you find yourself in a frenzy, trying to stay focused and get yourself motivated. It’s a heroin-addicted kind of existence. You’re always chasing the fascination horse with that damn fascination monkey perched on your lovely, delicate back. It’s quite a burden, being the most fascinating person in the world. Believe me, I’ve been there! And sexiest! Oh don’t get me started! My God, it is simply a damnable curse and it’s my job to help her through it, and if it takes a new home every month, so be it!. We’ve got a whole year ahead with this nightmare. I hope to God someone steps up to the plate and does something more fascinating to take the pressure off. Damn that Barbara Walters!”