J-Lo Wrote A Book! And Like Her Perfume The Reviews Are Glowing!

TrueLove

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Jeb Bush 50-50 On Running For President. George W. Says, “Great! That’s How I Felt About Actually Being President!”

BestBush

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 11_10_14

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Gimme A Quote

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Shooting With Joni

Shootingwithjoni 11_9_14

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Are George Clooney And Jennifer Lawrence Remaking Gone With The Wind?

GONEWITHTHEWINDREMAKE

According to a totally baseless rumor, newlywed George Clooney is in talks to star as the iconic Rhett Butler in a remake of the 1939 classic, Gone With The Wind! His dream Scarlett is said to be Jennifer Lawrence and what George wants he usually gets! In addition to casting demands, however, whispers have it, that there are just a few sticking points that George has with the original story, which is based in the South during The Civil War Era. He insists that there be no slaves. He would like all workers at Tara and the surrounding homes to be full time, minimum wage or higher employees, with full health care benefits and 401k’s. No cotton or tobacco is to be farmed. Rather he insists only organic vegetable farming be featured. He would like the animosity between the North and South to be played down to a minor disagreement regarding the creation of National Parks and Casinos on Indian land. He also requested that Belle Watson be his long lost mother, rather than a prostitute. Lastly, in a nod to his desire for strong women characters, he would like Scarlett to run a chain of highly successful breakfast food restaurants called “Fiddle Dee Dees” that falls on hard times as Americans get more calorie conscious. As soon as these script changes are hammered out, filming is expected to begin, with Oscar nominations to follow.

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 11_9_14

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Gimme A Quote

BestMaryamD'Abo

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Walking With Tom

walkingwithtom 11_8_14

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McConnell Tells One Percenters “We Can Do Better. We Will Get That Down To .5 Percent!”

POINT FIVE PERCENT

“There’s still inequity out there,” railed newly re-elected, Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell. “There’s still too many people in this country owning homes, going to college, driving cars, having phones, going to bed on a full stomach and Now, he thundered Having access to affordable health care! This is not my America! We have done what we could to move this nation forward, but we have been held back by the whiny, frightened little Democrats who think, “oh boo hoo hoo” everyone should get a fair share. Well I say, This Is America! If you have the chance for a big slice of cake, why not just swipe the whole cake? That is my America, people and I want to see that dream in my lifetime. They call you the 1 percent like that’s an insult. Hah! Hell, I say that number ain’t exclusive enough! I promise you that within 2 years I will have that number down, so that .5% have all the money! We’ll start by crushing that health care baloney. Screw ‘em. The EPA? Screw ‘em, who needs it? Just leave them their guns and flags. And we’ll get that pipeline going so oil and money starts flowing in the right direction even faster. Lookout Obama! Your obstructionist days are over!” he roared, and then stopped to wipe a bit of spittle off his lips and check his tie in his bedroom mirror.

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