Italy Closes Borders, Shuts Down Airports In Preparation For George Clooney’s Wedding.

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What started in Venice with the closing of 2 picturesque walkways along the Grand Canal, to keep crowds away from George Clooney’s wedding has turned into a countrywide shutdown. The sheer weight of the amount of people going to the wedding is causing Venice to sink even faster than normal. The airports are backed up and cannot handle the amount of people, baggage, wedding gifts and paparazzi  arriving every hour. The festive mood is quickly turning into out of control hysteria!

Satellite photos show caravans of cars, buses, trucks and boats, both private yachts and ocean liners pouring into the country on every available route. Gas stations have already run out of fuel and food supplies are running low. Some are just abandoning vehicles and trying to make it on foot to the nuptials. Brad and Angelina Pitt were seen trying to hitch a ride with the Pope in the Vatican Copter. Officials are begging people to turn around. “What should have been a joyous event is turning into a national nightmare” said one officer. “I knew he was popular but this is just insane!”

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

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Gimme A Quote

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Jersey Shore Update! The “New Situation”

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Disney Hit With $250 Million Lawsuit From Woman Who Says “Frozen” Is Based On Her Face!

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iPhone6. Bend It Like Beckham Or Stretch It Like Taffy!

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Apple sure has its headaches with the new iPhone 6 as people start using it and problems are showing up. First, U2 tunes were automatically downloading when unrequested. Then it was discovered that when placed in a pocket the phones would easily bend and now it turns out you can also stretch them like a taffy pull. One user explained, “I was handing the phone to my wife and she grabbed it before I had let go. The darn thing just started to stretch likes a bungee cord!” I thought, “What is this made of, silly putty? And sure enough, when pressed onto a comic strip it lifted the image right off the page!” One semi-concerned Apple spokesman quipped, “Well maybe it will be good for those long calls!”

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Britney Introduces Her “Welcome To My Nightmare” Lingerie Collection!

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Looking as comfortable as women will feel in her designs, Britney appeared at a shopping center in Warsaw, Poland yesterday to launch her Intimate Britney lingerie line. “I am so happy to be here in the original home of pole dancing “ she gushed.

The 32-year-old entertainer launched the same collection the day before in London, where she revealed that she wants Duchess Kate Middleton to wear her line! “I would love to see Kate in my underwear designs,” Britney said   “That would be splendid. I’m going to send her one of every piece. So she’ll have plenty to choose from.” Somebody’s got to have her address!“ she exclaimed. Britney added that she would also love to be able to sing, dance, act, form a complete sentence, read a book without pictures, find England on a map, understand what a map is……….

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 9_25_14

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Jessica Simpson Starring in “Clash Of The Tartans”

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Fresh from Fashion week in Appalachia, Jessica proudly models her chic new look from the “Hatfields and McCoy Collection. Two great families of fabric that agreed to disagree. Blinding Fashion indeed!

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Gimme A Quote

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