Sesame Street Goes Sexy! Seth Rogen and James Franco Help Pal, Big Bird Celebrate 45th Birthday!!!

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jr

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The kids of Sesame Street were a bit shocked at first but once Jimmy and Seth started their silly sessy dance Big Bird’s 45th birthday surprise party turned into a blast!

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Gimme A Quote

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jr

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Man Desperate To Get Into White House Jumps Fence. Secret Service Stands Down. It’s Only Ted Cruz!

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jr

Cruzfencejumper

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Ben Affleck Banned From Church Bazaar For Counting Jelly Beans

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jr

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First it was The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas that banned Ben from playing at their tables and now, his own St. Cecilia Parish in Boston has turned on him. “He’s out of control,” exclaimed Sister Bridget Angelina. “The church bazaar is a fun family event and he has made it a nightmare! He was at the “jelly bean jar” table with measuring implements, a calculator, a probability chart and a digital camera while jumping around the table to view from every angle. The muttering and facial tics he exhibited were insane! Innocent children were running away crying for their parents to save them from the “scary counting man.” He even shoved old Father Brendan to the floor when he suggested he go have a danish and let someone else take a guess.” Church officials confirm he has been banned from all future activities and events until he seeks help.

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

Posted on September 20, 2014 by jr

Mary's Random 9_20_14

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Gimme A Quote

Posted on September 19, 2014 by jr

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Millions Wait In Line And Purchase iPhone6 Today! Apple Announces iPhone7 coming in December. Everybody Gets Back On Line!!

Posted on September 19, 2014 by jr

Iphone6

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Friar’s Club Announces “National Talk Like Gilbert Gottfried Day!”

Posted on September 19, 2014 by jr

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Forget “Talk Like a Pirate Day!! How many times can you say AArrrgh and get laughs? “It’s gotten old fast” say the members of the Friar’s Club, home of the original foul and filthy and funny Roast! Time to practice your squinting and brush up on your heaviest Brooklyn accent, because next Friday is Gilbert’s Day to shine and everybody’s excuse to say filthy, funny and inappropriate things everywhere.  There will be plenty of loud, raspy shouting going on in offices, car showrooms and delis all across America! Whether you try his “Iago” voice from Aladdin or just the AFLAC duck, belly laughs are assured.  Affectionately nicknamed “America’s Creepy Uncle,” Gilbert is thrilled by the honor and plans on getting out there and offending as many people as possible. If this day goes well The Friars plan on introducing “Talk Like Lewis Black Day” next month.

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Exclusive! George Snags The Main Preacher Man For His Miracle Wedding!!

Posted on September 19, 2014 by jr

Pope with George

While everybody has been distracted by the leaked guest list to George Clooney’s upcoming nuptials, that sly actor has been secretly holding meetings at The Vatican with Pope Francis. After much discussion and negotiations, George convinced the Pontiff that he should officiate at his wedding in two weeks in Venice. His winning argument?Reasoning that if Francis eventually is considered for sainthood there must be proof of a miracle and George finally getting married, certainly meets that criteria. “Amen my son,” Francis was heard to murmur.Having finalized all the details, George and his gorgeous fiancée Amal Alamuddin posed with the Pope for a photo Op. When asked why he was marrying this couple, Francis shouted gleefully, “Are you kidding? It’s George Clooney!!”

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New X-Files Movie in Production. “The Search For Scully’s Leg!”

Posted on September 19, 2014 by jr

xfiles

Apparently aliens have stopped abducting people and instead are beaming up individual body parts in this latest X-Files big screen adventure. What is the logic behind this nefarious plot? Scully and Mulder are hot on the trail of the bad guys, when Scully herself falls victim to this intergalactic thievery. Suspense and excitement(and a few jokes cracked at Scully’s expense)  ensue as it becomes a three legged race against time! Studio execs hope everyone will be running to the theaters when this premieres Spring 2015.

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