Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

Mary's Random 9_19_14

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Gimme A Quote

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Pope Francis Modernizes The Swiss Guard Uniform. These Are The Real Fashion Police!

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He said he would modernize every facet of the church and he was not kidding! Gone are the days of the Blue, Red and Gold striped, court jester type uniforms of The Pontifical Swiss Guard! Out with the old boring blue berets! Like a fashion breath of fresh air, Pope Francis has opened up the closets and given the guards a makeover worth looking over and over. Working with designer Thom Browne, he has given a totally today, yet retro look to his most trusted security force. “These boys mean business with a serious military, yet whimsical look,” bragged Francis, “and the caps and plumage with optional aviator glasses will make you swoon. I know many of the cardinals did”, he said with a sly wink.

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NFL Season In Jeopardy As 76% Of Players Have Criminal Charges Or Investigations Pending. Players Voluntarily Turning Themselves In To Police.

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An emergency meeting has been called today, for all NFL team owners to discuss, what is turning into an NFL public relations nightmare! As more and more players are being charged with felonies ranging from spousal and child abuse to overdue library books and Facebook bullying, it is looking unlikely that anybody will be able to field a complete team for this weekends match-ups, as the number of suspensions mounts. To avoid the press circus, many players are just walking into local police stations with their lawyers to surrender. One detective exclaimed, “This is crazy! We don’t even know who some of these guys are!” Team owners are hoping to turn to college teams, to quickly draft players by the weekend, but as it turns out, many of them are already facing disciplinary measures on that level. Stay tuned!

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Autopsy Reveals King Richard III Died Painfully On Battlefield. Another White House Cover-Up?

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

Mary's random 9_18_14

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Gimme A Quote

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Martha Dishes On Gwyneth, Blake And Taylor. Oh Those Girls!

herself the alpha blonde

Martha Stewart has perhaps voiced a view that many fear to express aloud; that Gwyneth Paltrow should talk a little bit less.

 It would seem that the lifestyle mogul isn’t too impressed with Paltrow’s own similar efforts in her field. As fans of the actress know, she has a company called Goop, in which she regularly shares her tips and advice for how to live life better, complete with cleaning product suggestions and instructions on how to make the perfect bed, either with or without a spouse in it.“She just needs to be quiet,” said Stewart of the consciously uncoupled actress. (“and what is that nonsense anyway?” she wondered) “She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, would she really attempt to be Me?” she said with a chuckle.

Leaving it to her senior vice president, Kevin Sharkey, to discuss Blake Lively’s new lifestyle blog, “Preserve” (“I don’t get the sense she’s credible”), she then veered in another direction and started to vent about the inaccuracies of US prison-based television series Orange Is The New Black.

She claims she met the series’ real-life Piper Kerman when she was incarcerated, serving five months in prison starting in 2004 for lying to federal investigators. She had been found guilty of felony charges of conspiracy, obstruction of an agency proceeding, and making false statements to federal investigators. While serving her time she had politely requested that her fellow prisoners refer to her as “M Diddy”. “They could have done this show so much better. That Taylor Schilling is not good enough,” she told Net-A-Porter’s magazine. “I knew Piper Kerman. Piper Kerman was a friend of mine and believe me, She is no Piper Kerman!”

She continued to say that while she sympathizes with those in prison, she’s too busy to help in any way. “My heart aches a little for all of them,” sighed Stewart. “The system lets them down. It’s sad if one thinks about it. I try not to. I’m a little sorry, I have not had the time or really the slightest inclination to help.”

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Nicole Richie Takes Elegance Up A Notch! Oh Wait…Maybe Not So Much.

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Miss Nebraska, Megan Swanson “Accidentally” Flashes America With Her Pink Undies! Oh And Some Other Gal Won The Title!

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In an amazingly daring move on Sunday’s Miss America Pageant, Megan Swanson, representing the corn fed gals of Nebraska saw her shot and took it, the money shot that is. As Co-host Chris Harrison strolled across the stage explaining the judges criteria, the camera panned with him. Just as it passed Megan Swanson, she uncrossed her legs and leaned over to speak to a fellow contestant thereby allowing her pink underwear to give a shoutout to America! Then the new Miss America, somebody from New York was named and all the other contestants headed back home, except for Megan Swanson who already has received more press and has more name recognition going for her than the actual winner. Booked onto The Today Show the next morning, the show received an immediate spike in ratings although the new Miss America was appearing on Good Morning America at the same time. Seems the U.S. of A. loves underwear and to re-work a cliche once again, it appears that “Pink” is the new black! Congrats to Megan Swanson, America’s new stunt queen!!

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