Category Archives: Scoop

FTM Scoop! GOP Congressman Introduces Legislation That Might Actually Move The Country Forward! Fellow Party Members Go Ballistic!

Posted on April 24, 2015 by jr

A Midwest Republican congressman, who has, at least temporarily, chosen to remain anonymous, has proposed legislation, that many have claimed would move the country forward instead of backward. Many reports say it actually contains wording that would have to do … Continue reading →

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FTM Scoop! Bowing To Pressure, Cake Companies Rename “Devil’s Food!” Sales Soar To The Heavens!

Posted on April 23, 2015 by jr

Noticing a recent sales slump, the marketing execs from the largest selling cake mix companies have discovered increasing resistance from the religious right to purchase cake mixes called Devil’s Food. “There is a war against cake going on in this … Continue reading →

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Paul Talks “Economy” In New Hampshire Where Crowds “Get Randy!”

Posted on April 21, 2015 by jr
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Rand Paul Team Tests New Slogan “Stay Stupid America.” Rolls Out Stupid Campaign Buttons!

Posted on April 19, 2015 by jr

Republican Senator Rand Paul officially announced he’s running for president and he has pledged to get rid of the US Department of Education if he’s elected. To help promote this agenda his campaign has started handing out buttons promising Americans … Continue reading →

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Today’s NY Daily News Wins FTM’s Best In Journalism Award!

Posted on April 18, 2015 by jr

For consistent scoops, investigative reports and serious world news reporting about everything a well informed public needs to know! In other words, the comics are funny and the sports section is decent. And Beyonce tanning!!!  Who knew?

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Chris Christie Leaves Big Impression In New Hampshire! Mary Slips In Cheap Visual Joke!

Posted on April 18, 2015 by jr

Continuing on his “I’m Not Sure, I Dunno, Maybe, It’s None A Your Business, Get Outta My Face, Oh Yeah? I’m Lookin’ At Possibilities, Shuddup , How You Doin’,  Are You Gonna Eat That?” Campaign tour, around the United States, New … Continue reading →

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Mary Finds The Fastest Growing Church In America!

Posted on April 16, 2015 by jr

You Confess! You Decide!  Join now! The easiest church in the world. Ignore the parts of Scripture that crimp your own life and espouse the texts that serve your personal tastes. It’s that easy! A very modern church for a … Continue reading →

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FTM Exclusive! Hillary Clinton To Announce Candidacy With Cool JIBJAB Video Showing Her Fun Side!

Posted on April 11, 2015 by jr

Staying on top of the latest in pop culture communications, the long awaited announcement of Hillary Clinton’s official run for the White House is almost here. Reports say Hillary plans on dropping her new video sometime this weekend. Using the … Continue reading →

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Scoop! Tom Cotton Comes Clean. “I Have No Idea What I’m Talking About!.” Hannity Flummoxed!

Posted on April 10, 2015 by jr

Appearing with Fox news emcee Sean Hannity, Arkansas junior senator, Tom Cotton decided to come clean about his knowledge and opinions which pretty much stunned Mr. Hannity, who tried to get his own mind wrapped around the idea that a … Continue reading →

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Scoop! Barbara Bush Tries To Explain Jeb’s Voter Registration Application.

Posted on April 9, 2015 by jr
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