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It’s still a month until it hits theaters on February 13^th, but 50 Shades of Grey has already begun it’s required promotional controversy.

“This is insane,” said one producer. “We never had any intention of filming all 50 shades and now that we have decided to show only 37 the fans are going nuts on the Internet. Somehow they got my cell number and the screaming messages have been truly frightening. Some of the insults and the language used is just horrible! It’s only a 2-hour movie and there really is no way to include all of the shades. The fans, I believe, are really being unreasonable.”

“I dream about the 50 shades, it’s all I’ve got,” said Lena Dornanschagl from Boonton, New Jersey, “and when I plunk down my $14.50 at the box office I certainly expect to see all those 50 shades or someone is going to feel my wrath. It would be like only seeing 87 Dalmatians! You don’t mess with a classic”

Stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson were totally unaware of the sexual accounting error in the shade category. “Honestly we both lost count after about the 23rd shade,” said Dakota. “I had no idea they planned on leaving some out. It certainly felt like we had worked in all 50 shades. I dunno but I am so sore, black and blue, and flat out exhausted, I don’t know if I could do all 50.

The Internet and Twitterverse have exploded with ticked off women, when word of this leaked on Friday. Producers have reached out to middle-aged women representatives, and hope to have an arbitrator meet with them, to work out some sort of compromise, such as including the other 13 shades in a sequel.