Alicia Keys Flaunts Baby Bump At Givenchy Fragrance Launch. Receives Police Citation!

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys was unaware that a recently enacted law in NYC has made it illegal to flaunt the fact that you had sex and are now expecting a baby. She learned the hard way, when she received a whopping $267 (plus a state surcharge of $2) fine for simply showing up at an event with a swollen belly and acting all proud and stuff. When asked about this new law Mayor DeBlasio called it unfortunate, but the flaunting had “gotten out of hand.” Although Alicia was just one of many celebs flaunting their bumps in public, she is the first to get slapped on the bottom, so to speak. “When you shove that in people’s faces, you are flaunting and it gets to be too much, DeBlasio said.  Little kids see it, they want to know how that happened and parents find that pretty embarrassing. Ya know we made NYC a G rated town and we wanna keep it that way!” 

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

mary's random 9_7_14

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Matt Didn’t Win An Emmy But He Still Got A Woody!!

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Hayden Panettiere, “I’m Thrilled When People Notice My Breasts!”

Hayden Panettierre

Heroes star, Hayden Panettiere could not disguise her glee when asked at the Emmy’s what the best thing about being pregnant was. “My boobs of course!” OMG I never expected this kind of attention and I am loving it! People who used to look down on me or over my head are now just agog at these two suckers. Who knew I could take my career to a whole new level with these babies? Some days it is just so hard to get my head wrapped around the attention but I am thrilled about it.” she gushed. “But are you looking forward to being a mom?” the reporters asked. “Oh yeah, that night be fun too” she giggled.

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Magic Mike XXL!! Sequel Halfway Finished Shooting…Still No Script!

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Magic Mike earned over $167 million worldwide, so naturally a sequel is underway, being filmed in Savannah Georgia. Everybody thought the plot was being kept very hush-hush but that turns out NOT to be the case.There was a short delay as producers waited for a script to be completed. While waiting, they organized focus groups to find out what women enjoyed most about the story from the first film. They found that 97% of the audience had no idea or memory of a story or actual plot. Steven Soderbergh, Director of the first MM and serving as DP on this sequel said “So what the hell are we waiting for? Roll em!” 

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Mary’s Random Thought Of The Day

Mary's Random 9_6_14

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Hilary Duff Threatens To Sue Over Fake Nude Leaked Photos. Releases Real Nudes As Proof!

Best Hilary

Nothing can hurt a career in Hollywood faster than fake nude photos, especially when they are not complimentary to the star. Hilary Duff has fallen victim to this injustice and held a press conference yesterday with her lawyer, agent and her mom by her side. She read a statement. “The naked photos hacked from the cloud this week, purporting to be pictures of me are fake.I have included in your press folders actual nudes from my personal collection so you will have proof of the fraudulence. I insist these replace the false ones now in circulation or we will be forced to take legal action.” When asked how they could be sure these were not photoshopped, enhanced pictures, she agreed to disrobe for Q & A. 

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Exclusive: James Franco Shaves Head, Gets Tattoo, Wears Spaghetti Wig! Franco American Of Course!

Franco American

James Franco took the “Shave your head bald, get a skull tattoo and wear spaghetti challenge” this week when he made an appearance at the Venice Film Festival. “It is perfect” shouted Franco over the fans screaming for a taste. “If I get hungry during my film screening,I can just reach up and take a little off the top.”  

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